Monday, January 03, 2011

A very honest return from some gentle time away

 Hi ( waving)
Grab a tea and sit with me, let's catch up.
Soooo, first let's just address the elephant in this vitrtual room; I haven't blogged for a year, I LEFT! 
Totally ditched you all.
Let me tell you, I needed to leave. 
I blogged for a long time, I blogged and I blogged and I blogged, and I wrote articles and I met deadlines, and I blogged on Creating Keepsakes website, and I met some more deadlines, I designed products and I filmed DVDs and I travelled the world sharing my heart... and I lived this phenomenal blessed dream like life. And so , I needed a break. I needed to think and re-group and find a new blance in all of the areas of my life that truly matter.

I needed to find a new balance that didn't leave any area of my life neglected, something that could work for me and my family, that would leave me revived and not feeling burnt out at the end of the day...not that I WAS stressed out and burnt out, but I do know that a person can only handle a crazy pace for so long. And crazy was just starting to feel long. Maybe some people can do it, and they seem to do it FANTASTICALLY, always running and meeting every expectation, handling everything that comes their way and doing it seamlessly. Buuuut anyone who knows me well KNOWS that I don't handle a thousand things at once and do them well LOL, or maybe at all, and definitely not on time...BLAHHH! 
I always like to think that it has something to do with the fact that I happen to be an incredibly laid back lover of life, that's just the way I am; really chilled out and happy to just be in the moment, treasure life, and enjoy it all. I felt like things had gotten to the crazy pace where I wasn't able to do that, where I wasn't getting in touch with my authentic self and finding those moments to take it all in and enjoy, I was just trying to keep up with everyone and everything. There was always something that needed my attention, always something that I had to get to and get done and get there on time, and so when blogging just became another TO-DO, became a burden then I knew I wouldn't be writing my best or truly be able to find the moments to share my heart, cuz in all honestly I wasn't getting much time to even know what my heart wanted to share! 
So for me, what's the point of that? I didn't start blogging to share my personal pity parties, or "hey today is just bla bla bla", I have never been all about quickly posting something just for the sake of writing it cuz I have to write something. I truly try and be authentic in everything I share, I won't tell you your haircut looks good if it doesn't, and I didn't want to sit here writing if it wasn't coming from my heart. 
So call it a sabbatical, a well deserved leave of absence from most of my "work" so it could become PLAY again. 
 As a family, we moved to the country, we are sooo  incredibly blessed and happy here, our pace has gone from a thousand miles a minute to ummm...about 2, possibly 1. We can walk everywhere we want to go, we spend more time outside, we spend more time just home together and I LOVE IT! Our community is fantastic. I was able to take the time to put on Art Camp for a few amazing girls and teach them all kinds of art journaling and expressive free art; they did a bunch of canvases and a little journal, and learned all of my favorite techniques! I have to say, they were probably better students than some adults I have taught...just ready to explore and I LOVED every second of it! I wouldn't have had the time to do that before, pulling back was awesome on so many levels. I've been Volunteering at the kids school A LOT and being able to be really involved there as they have made that transition to a new school and new friends. Getting to know who their friends are and what they are all about, showing them that their world is important to me. That matters SO much to me. I adore my little people and LOVE to be with them in their world... I totally want to be a kid when I grow up! We've been making our own connections here too, getting to know the great peeps in our new community. And I've had plenty of time for reconnecting with Cam without running off to get things done. Y'know, he leaves his job at 4:00 and comes home and it's done period, mine has always been different of course. But he deserves my undivided time, he's my best friend in the world, best most amazing guy EVER...seriously if everyone could have him for a husband they totally should, but I'm not sharing so. yeah, too bad. Time together is great on all of the above counts.
I have been SOOO revived by the wonderful adventures we have been on.
More to come on some of those later.

But first step back; I do say hello on facebook and twitter because it is fast and it's easy and I don't have to make sure there are edited photos etc. ( join me there if you havent yet!)
But, I LOVE blogging , and now I miss it,  and now I am ready to come back, and I know I am ready because every single day it has been driving me nuts that all of the buttons and backgrounds and headers etc. on this crazy blog have disappeared on me and left this space all naked and sad. 
I am itching at last to say more, to pour out and write and write and write again ( as you can see by this long winded sharing LOL) i know I am ready to come back because it doesn't feel like a chore anymore, like I HAVE to get it it; more like I can't wait to get to it! 
 I truly feel rested, feel like I have taken the time I needed to REFRESH and re-invent, and re-create who I am and come out with a whole bunch of new adventures, new wisdom, and a whole new outlook. 
I am peaceful, balanced and HAPPY.
And as far as blog world goes, my friends, I am back.

Cam is building me a wonderful new website, that I am very excited about. So whether this blog will stay here or move, who knows. He wanted me  to wait until that was ready to share again, but I just CAN'T! 
So  for now, here I am, all my archives are still here ( which is really fun to look way way back on when the girls were tiny, so glad to have that record of life and thoughts.)
Here's to today and cheers to tomorrow. 
WELCOME BACK.
I hope that you will enjoy all that I have in store for this place, hope you will enjoy watching it take shape again as I design some new buttons and try to bring the cozy back, I have some great ideas I can't wait to share and I hope you will take this journey of renewal with me.


I challenge you today to re-invent yourself just a little bit. 
You don't have to duck out for a year like I did, but just take one thing that is not fulfilling you, one thing that is not making you happy and CHANGE IT!
JUST CHANGE IT.
If it is weighing you down , cut it out, Give yourself a breath, Take a break for as long as you need to BREATHE, and possibly don't even put it back.
Try and take the quiet time to hear and follow where your heart needs to go, don't question it, just follow it.
You will be glad you did.

7 comments:

*reyanna klein* said...

Hi CD! i'm so glad you're back! YAY!

What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for the reminder. I've been doing this lately. I mean, I'm also 7 mos pregnant, but still... if I don't feel like blogging or doing something... if something is dragging me down or stressing me out... I just don't do it. It's actually feeling quite nice. I do miss blogging though. I mean... I did blog 11 days ago, but still. I do wish I could blog more. :-)

Anywho, thank you for the inspirational post. Can't wait to see more from you in the coming months! :-)

Christina Smith said...

Thank you SO much for sharing your heart! I've missed you, but I completely understand! You are one of the most inspirational people in the world to me! I am pregnant with my first child (a girl due August 21st) and this post just really helped open my eyes to some things. Thank you! Welcome back, CD!

Natalie Elphinstone said...

So happy to hear you're back, but even more happy to hear you're revived and rested and have found more meaning in what you do. Sounds like some crazy fun adventures you've been having, and as they say, the best art is made when inspired by real life. Do they say that? I don't know! I think it's true anyway :-) All I know is I'm excited to see you'll be blogging again with your whole heart.
xxx

Jeni said...

Welcome back!

Christina Carnoy said...

CD,

I am so glad you're back!!! I was very touched reading all your posts from this week. So much beauty radiates from your soul, the beautiful family you have and keep as your top priority, your art and the way you visualize and share it with the world. I think that really it is the spirit of God shining through you and that is really beautiful. And you are sharing that with the world! That really inspires me. I hope someday to do the same...I am learning and working hard to start on that path myself.

Ninie sous les Bilimbis said...

so happy to read you again...thank you to share your thoughts and your heart...

Simeachen said...

Hi C.D.! I missed you and your unbelievable creative spirit and I am really glad that you are back. I am going to check up on you now and then.
Thanks as well for being so honest.
Thats rare and wonderful.
And all you wrote is just true!