Thursday, January 20, 2011

Listening to the call

I have always been sensitive to the gentle nudge on my heart, the quiet prompt that let's me know which way I should go, I call it God, you can call it whispers, or the universe, or your heart...whatever makes you comfortable.
The results of listening have taken me to places in my life I could have never dreamed possible for me.

So here I am, happily taking my little break from "work" skipping through life going along my merry comfortable way, and comfortable can be so good can't it? Unfortunately it only seems to hang out for so long before we have the chance to step out of our comfortable little bubble and take a risk or make a change, it just is, and any passionately creative person knows exactly what I mean...so there I am," la dee dah", and in walks the (perceived) party pooper...yep total bubble burster, I feel this really strong tug on my heart that I need to paint the stories of women- beautiful , strong, amazing women...NOW! 
Skeptical closed minded grumpy people may be saying "yeah whatever you just WANTED to paint some people...bla bla bla God, ya sure ( insert eye roll)"  
OK, those people may as well just stop reading right here cuz you're not gonna get me;
problem with this heart tugging thing is that my inner response was something like this "ME? no, sorry you have the wrong girl, I don't draw people, I don't draw anything that looks remotely rea,l in fact...I am just a silly doodler, sometimes a word art maker, and a messy fusser with paint that is all happy mish mashy...NOT a formally trained artist, nope not a maker of women, NOT NOT NOT"
But the thing about that quiet call that comes when we are really REALLY supposed to follow is that it doesn't just go away...I know this by now, but still I fight it, fight the unknown, fight the possibility of failure, I fight...
If only I would remember at the time that each time I have finally given in and listened to that quiet call on my heart a whole new world of possibility and potential has opened for me and for my family. But No, I am human ( remember just a silly doodler?) and so I forget and I fight it. 

Well I guess this was one of those things that I was supposed to do because although I pushed back again, when I finally gave in what has poured out has been truly an awakening...it makes my heart sing. It has not come from me, not from anywhere I thought I had the potential to be, but from somewhere greater and bigger. And unbeknownst to me, I CAN draw these women...somehow I have it in me and I can. 
Of course there was NO WAY I was going to share this story I feel super duper vulnerable sharing all of this, and possibly even more vulnerable sharing the paintings I have been keeping mostly to myself. So let it be said right here and right now, if you think I am a quack I really don't wanna hear it, walk away and never look back.
This is my story and I LIKE IT!
 But if you can identify with me even a bit, I encourage you to listen to the call on your heart and shed all of the fears that can stand in the way.
Just BE FEARLESS, step out in faith and follow your own awesome journey, you may be surprised what come of it :)

6 comments:

Kasie @ ~The Art of Life~ said...

Thank you so much for sharing your heart CD. I get it. I truly do. I'm afraid that so often in life I let the fear win out. I've been feeling a tug and pulling lately with my art and then all the fears started rushing in. So it was wonderful timing to read your post. You have encouraged me to keep going and be brave.
***PS. I LOVE your women pictures. :)

Rebecca H. said...

love this as well cd. i too have realized that my stay in the world of 'comfortable' is quickly coming to an end. i just don't have a clear understanding of what's ahead. i guess i'll walk it out and see where it leads.
and i must say that your art is amazing and beautiful!

CD said...

Thank-you both for sharing your hearts with me a bit here, and your kind words of praise as well, GO GIRLS!

Christina Carnoy said...

Thanks for sharing this!!!! Maybe there are a few or maybe many of us scattered throughout the world who are going to make amazing art to share God's love with the world! Woohoo! You have really inspired me! I have always considered you a kindred spirit, and now more so than ever!!!! If you are a quack then I am a quack too!!!!

Paulette Insall said...

so tickled to hear that you're listening to God's call on your heart! that's some kind of talent He's blessed you with girl and you don't need to hide it! share it with the world girl and bring Him glory!! xoxo

blessings & hugs,
paulette

Paulette Insall said...

and i echo christina's sentiment....if you're a quack, then so am i! :D we "quacks" should stick together! :D