Sunday, March 19, 2006

Natural Beauty and the story of finding my Tiara

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This layout is of our sweet Tiara . For a list of credits and to read the journaling please Click Here
I glanced over one day and there was my wonderful little girl who had gotten herself out of her bath and was sitting behind me in a ray of sunshine with her towel struggling to stay in place. I had been wanting to take some natural shoulders- up shots for awhile and in that moment she was just so perfect and pretty just because she is her! Fuzzy crazy hair, ( it's the kind of hair that's not straight not totally curly) half a froggy towel and no pretty clothes or accessories. I did this layout for her because I'm fairly sure there may be a day where she will think that without all kinds of extras she's not good enough ( how many girls or women feel this at some point?) and I want to remind her that she is just incredible the way God made her; perfect and wonderful and incredibly beautiful.

She turned four in January and since about novemberish I guess, things have really been looking up for her ( I will explain).This layout is extra special to me because, don't get me wrong, my Love for her as my daughter has always been plenty strong, but there was a long time ( it felt long) where I wouldn't have felt like making this layout for her. She has many scrapbook pages ( especially because she is totally photogenic and happy to ham it up for me) but most of them are fairly superficial , just a funny moment or about her great smile or her being happy. You see when Tiara is happy she is oh so very happy, but my girl is a girl of extreme passion ( this is what I call it) and when she is not so happy....Well let's just say the whole family ( possibly the whole neighborhood) is affected. Her full name is Tiara Joy Renee and it means a crown of joy and happiness, but she hasn't always fit her name so well.

This is the short ( but still a little long ) version of her story:
When I was pregnant with Tiara I had to have emergency surgery ( my appendix), and we weren't even out of the first three months, I have an allergy of sorts to general anesthetic ( I throw up viscously for weeks) so following the surgery, I spent the rest of that pregnancy in and out of the hospital because I threw up 24/7. It was a crazy time, hard on all of us especially Emilea, and Tiara was born 6 weeks early. So needless to say her beginnings were not so smooth. My mom has always thought that her extreme sensitivity has something to do with all
of this.

For her first year she was just reeeeeally sensitive to everything, and screamed if a stranger even said hello to her, I did my best to go slowly and gently and make her little world as Tiara-friendly as I could and I figured out just what she needed to be happy. By the time she was two there was a whole nether side to her little self that we could see emerging, still just extremely sensitive but with a lot more oooomph. Poor Emilea has been late for school so many times because her little sister was kicking and screaming as I struggled to try to put some clothes or a jacket on her. I remember at one point when I was pregnant with our youngest, I had been so worried cuz she would end up kicking me in the stomach and at this point I was feeling so very stressed out, and that worried me too ( I am a super calm go with the flow kinda person and not much ruffles my feathers). I remember the midwife assuring me that the baby was totally fine, and giving me a wonderful little tip " just pick her up and pack her into the van in the mornings, screaming and all, but instead of fighting with all your might to get her into her jacket simply bring it along", it gets reeeeally cold here in winter so I think I looked at her like she was crazy, she went on to remind me that "it is fairly warm in the vehicle and she's not going to freeze, but she'll probably get cold enough to decide for herself to wear that jacket!" Well, that was a turning point for me, I learned to pick my battles and I got some control back and didn't have to feel like I was afraid of my own toddler ( a horrible thing to feel). It didn't take long for her to ask to wear her jacket and even put it on herself! But this type of thing happened a lot and got especially bad after she turned three ( which is not the most fantastic age for many kids) It's like a switch would go off inside her at any given time and she would just go into a crazy screaming fit about anything, I mean the kind of screaming that goes right through you like someone is torturing her.

And then the most wonderful thing happened ( well, wonderful cuz it gave us a solution)...We found out that Tiara is lactose intolerant! She had never had any obvious signs so we had no idea! Here she was eating cheese and cottage cheese and yogurt and drinking milk pretty much every day and having crazy stomach aches all of her little life, but since she had always felt this way she didn't know to say " my stomach really hurts!" well no wonder she couldn't handle her day! We got lactaid pills for her and stopped giving her dairy products as much as possible and finally the girl I had caught glimpses of for so long emerged! This happy, thoughtful and really funny little person. And for the first time in quite awhile I enjoyed spending time with her. And the rest of our family ( and neighborhood) have a much more peaceful environment. ahhhhhhh ( I felt that was necessary there) So at last she fits her name and our little Tiara Joy Renee is indeed my crown of joy and happiness.

I know this was a lot to share with people who don't really know us but I just figured maybe our story can help one of you guys, even if it's just to know that another mom out there went through a crazy time with a toddler and everything worked out pretty great...Now when she's 15...Well, I hope I'm still blogging so I can ask for advice! But right now I am thankful for today and I know we are so very blessed.

Take care everyone and come back soon for some good news!
C.D. Muckosky


traci said...

As a mom, this certainly isn't too much to share. These are things, unfortunately, that we have to go through - the occasional heartbreak. And it feels good knowing that other women understand and want to give us a big hug to show it.

I'm glad you finally found out what was upsetting her, and it's awful to think of our kids being in pain and us not knowing it. Shame that she thought her stomach aches were "normal."

Shannon said...

Thanks for sharing your story, C.D. It got me all teary eyed. I've had some of those moments with my now 5 yr old daughter, and am sure I will with my 2 yr old son. I'm so glad you were able to find your *true* daughter.

Your comment about regaining control is what did me in, it's so true. We unintentionally give so much power to our little rugrats sometimes, and it just doesn't work. We try to avoid problems, and end up making them worse. Hindsight and all that. :) The layout is beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

*Shannon from 2Peas Digi

Sinead said...

Wow, what a great story! It's beautiful to see that you found a solution that led to the appearance of the little girl you knew (or hoped) was there all along! Thanks for sharing!

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